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Principles To Follow When Dating Muslims

By Ann Turner


Islam supports courtship that leads to marriages with integrity. This is why it puts strict rules for dating Muslims. They apply to couples who are both adherent of the faith as well as those who faiths diverge. When these principles are broken, the violating parties face very serious consequences. They are regarded as outcasts from the community and will face the wrath of Allah.

A Muslim is at liberty to love anyone and even proceed to marry him or her. This is anchored in Islamic faith whereby people are encouraged to love and extend this love to all creation by Allah. The rules are only meant to protect those involved from hurting and also ensure that the society is not dysfunctional. This is why relationships, engagement, premarital contact and marriage are strictly guided.

The Quran does not restrict people when and where they can meet. Traditionally, a man and a woman would be introduced to each other by their parents or relatives. It means that each side had already vetted the other person and ascertained that he would be fit for their son or daughter. This was made easy by the fact that people lived together in communities and had full knowledge of each other.

Online meeting for Muslims is gaining traction because people no longer live together and also want to make personal choices regarding the people they love. The internet also allows one to get in touch with people who are in distant countries. However, this does not meant that the rules have been suspended. They are followed as religiously as if it is the traditional society. This is good for the partners and society at large.

The principle rule of courtship is that the partners must never be found in the same room or space without a chaperon. This seclusion is deemed dangerous because it exposes the couple to temptations of sexual engagement. When you meet online, a person must not tempt you into getting into private space. This will compromise personal integrity, leaving you hurt and destroying your courtship.

Chaperons were present in traditional setting. Present day dating websites for Muslims have tweaked the idea to involve group activities where age mates, friends and family are involved. This happens through outdoor activities where you can interact with dignity. Remember that until marriage, even kissing or such closeness is prohibited.

There is growing emphasis for halal dating. It allows you to maintain contact with the person you are interested in without violating the rules. You remain in touch through phone calls, internet or meet during public gatherings. This arrangement still allows family, friends and relatives to introduce potential partners. As you continue to engage, you will make a decision whether to continue with courtship till marriage. A Nikah is signed- this is a contract that is as binding as a marriage certificate.

Do not mistake courtship in Islam to be devoid of love and emotions. There are enough opportunities for the couple to make up their mind about each other. They are only restricted from private interactions before marriage to protect them from being hurt as well as protect the society from broken marriages. Whether you meet online or in real life, you must adhere to the principle of separation till marriage.




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